Nesting.
The obsessive, often impulsive, stage of maternity that brings about the uncontrollable urge to clean ones house beyond all necessary means, in preparation for a new baby.
While pregnant, I never entered this stage.
In fact, I was quite the opposite.
I still have visions of me laying exhausted on the couch, watching television, with a bowl of cereal propped up on my jumbo belly, wearing the same pajamas for 3 days in a row while surrounded by a pool of my own food wrappers and magazines.
I was about as far away from the “nesting” phase that one could get.
You see, when I was pregnant, the last thing I thought about was cleaning, or organizing or germs.
I was more concerned about surviving,
about getting through a meal without getting sick,
about sleeping through the night without an “episode”.
So, while others “nested”, I “rested”.
I was about as far away from the “nesting” phase that one could get.I finished my term,
delivered a healthy, beautiful baby boy,
and gave myself a pat on the back for skipping out on this obviously crazy symptom of pregnancy.
I was off the hook, right?
Wrong.
We brought our little bundle of joy home,
and I knew there was going to be a problem when I used my shirt sleeve to open my own front door.
And it certainly didn’t stop there.
Rather than adhere to my “bed rest” orders,
I took it upon myself to repaint my husband’s home office,
clean the baseboards with a magic eraser,
shampoo my carpets,
buy all new rugs and towels,
replace all the cupboard shelf liners,
and bleach my walls {yes I’m serious}.
When it came to the baby
I was even worse.
I boiled and sanitized his bottles daily,
washed his clothes using only “special” baby detergent,
wouldn’t let him within 100 yards of a McDonalds play place,
and gave him a bath after every poopy diaper.
If you had so much as a sniffle,
or if I thought you might even appear to be getting sick,
I didn’t hesitate to tell you that you couldn’t hold my baby.
And if you were perfectly healthy,
I still made you apply a dollop of antibacterial gel all the way up to your elbows–twice.
Because that stuff says 99.9% effective,
and I wasn’t about to let my baby catch the .1% of your germs.
And while I never said it to your face,
the burning glare in my eyes was asking you to stop breathing directly onto my infant.
I was a real gem,
all in the name of protecting my new baby.
Eventually, my craziness subsided
and I was left in the wake of my own neurosis.
I couldn’t keep up the obsessive behavior forever,
and I certainly couldn’t protect my baby from all the worlds germs.
Especially considering I had a baby
who grew into a toddler
that eats dirt,
licks the slide at the park,
and chews on his own shoes.
As a new momma,
I would eventually learn to let some things go,
to give up some control,
and to take a deep breath.
Because the reality is,
a new momma’s protection is only 99.9% effective.
He’ll have to learn the other .1% on his own.
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I am new to your blog and now read it religiously every day! I am a momma to two boys, two and four and can really relate!
I was that “crazy” with my first! Thanks for letting me feel “normal” through you!
I LOVED this! Seriously, Ashley is always so honest and entertaining. And touching. Definitely a fave.
This was amazing Ashley . . .I loved it! Your blog is one of my daily visits . . . I’m so impressed with this true tale!!
So creatively written and funny! Can’t wait to experience it myself to see how I will react!
I’m a follower of LMM and, though I’m not a momma myself, my older sister is about to bring the first baby in almost 30 years into my family, and your post is completely wonderful and relevant to the upcoming craziness that is going to be my family! Thank you!
this article was great…great length to read. i wish i had a 1/10 of this morale to clean. oh well, i haven’t killed my other two kids, this third one should survive fine, right? right?
I was a semi-crazy nester while pregnant, but I, too, got way worse after by daughter was born. She just turned 3 years old and I am still trying to “let some things go.” It’s comforting knowing that I am not the only “crazy” one
Thanks Ashley! Congrats on the article and I LOVE that your hubby was the first to comment
I just love you! Your honesty makes me love you double. (which is good, because I could hate you because you’re so freaking gorgeous, talented, and nice).
Oh, I love this post. I subscribe to LMM and it’s definitely the first blog I read when I open up my email. Love her.
love you Ashley!
Nice to see your writing around the web! You are great at sharing your experiences in a loving, humorous, and honest way.
Ashley you are the best. Like awesome.. I did the same thing with my first but I nested before and after! Love this story made mengoggle and know I’m not alone!
Love this article, Ashley! You’re not alone in motherhood induced craziness! We’ve all been there in one form or another.
xxo,
Amy
Ashley, your writing is so fresh, transparent and real. You put words to what most mom’s think about everyday. For an older mom, this brings back memories…oh yeah.. now I remember!!
haha…you’re hilarious! love this! with my first i too was a little neurotic. it all went out the door with the 2nd. she got so many colds…mostly from her big sis. i actually nested, not often…but once i’d get started, watch out. i wouldn’t stop for hours!
I can totally relate. I would also wake up several times during the night to see if he was breathing and to check and recheck the locks on of the doors and windows. I did for almost a year.
Wow. Amazing. I got so much crap when I wouldn’t let people hold my baby. I would make my sister wash her hands every time she coughed or touched her face, feet, shoes, basically anything. That was a wonderful article. I loved every bit of it.
You are great! I love your blog and feel your pain…but thankfully I too eased up on my OCD after the baby no 1… and 2, 3, and 4 were just fine without all that germ phobia. Thanks for the insight into your world.
I tried me best to keep up with stuff like that and prepare for things like that. BUT there is not a thing in the world that could prepare me for the day I saw my son eating dog poop….
My best**
I am glad you made it through the nesting! lol My couch still has the crater in it from my two pregnancies. I am not a cute, happy prego…I am a nutty overprotective mom…and I am ok with it. I try to take every “fear” and consider it rationally and if I am still freaked I call my mom and sister…if they freak then I know it is valid. If they laugh…well I try to tell myself I am just being a nut! lol But I always try my best to protect my little men, but let them live their lives too. Came over from LMM…Love your blog!
Yay!! I am a big fan of your blog and so happy to read this here. You are such a great writer, and this brought back some great memories. My boys are 5 & 6 now but the 5 year old still chews on his shoes…. Aggghhh… I wasn’t much of a nester either but always admired those who were. Thanks for a funny and so true article… And I have to agree with one of the other comments “Can she and her son be any more beautiful?” Serioulsy… it is disgusting.
Great article Ashley!!! Popping over from the LMM blog! Its fun to know not everyone has it so easy! haha!
Omigosh! I swear to you, I was exactly the same! I was resting soooo much that I got so big but when my baby came out, no one could hardly hold her. Not even my hubby who carries packages because he works for FedEx, he needs to take a shower when he comes home before he holds her. lol until the toddler age came, we can’t really control it anymore coz it’s tiring to just really follow what they do all the time. Thank God my daughter never had the habit of picking up stuffs on the floor and putting on her mouth. I guess, blame it on me who constantly tell her not to.
Anyway, love this article, Ashley.. waiting for your next blog entry.:)
I love how open and honest you are with us on your blog as well as this article! It makes me feel more normal in my ‘oddities’ I have around my little guy (and myself in general!). Now that he’s mobile I am completely more relaxed (like your Baby W…he licks gross stuff and eats his shoes!), but I was a basket case at first!
great article!
beautifully written!
Ashley, you are such a great writer! And though I am not a mom or soon to be one, I can see myself being as “crazy” as you… though I think you are doing a wonderful job. Love you lots Ashley <3
I’ll be a mom for the first time in a few weeks. Thanks for the advice!
This post reminds me of all the things I can’t think to hard about because nesting is not an option right now. I’m still adjusting to baby #4 and a cross country move so i’m in the “survival mode”… but out of curiosity, what’s the bleach:water ratio you use for your walls?
I used those Clorox bleach wipes.
My favorite part is:
“And while I never said it to your face,
the burning glare in my eyes was asking you to stop breathing directly onto my infant.”
Hi-larious!!!!! Love the article! You’re like the BFF I don’t have quite yet in my new little town. Thanks!
I so relate to your experience! I too had HG and my 3 pregnancies were a blur – I was in survival mode! When each baby got here, it was like all of those instinctual nesting tendencies all appeared at once – all I could say was look out world!!! My desire to de-germify my house got a little less obsessive with each little one we welcomed into our home. Not so easy to be super clean in a house with school aged children and a baby! We do have a strict wash your hands as soon as you get in the house policy and I still will ask people if they have been sick or if any one has been sick in their home before they hold my baby (my germophobia is still there, just not as pronounced as with baby 1 or baby 2).
Thanks for sharing your experience! I feel like we are soul sisters – not many people get dealing with HG during pregnancy nor the obsessive need to clean after the baby arrives.
- Megan
you’re funny, and i’m glad i found you. yea!!!
Visiting from LMM! Love your writings as usual
You def. have a way w/ words!
Ash, you rock! Love how well you put your experiences into words. Love you!
Loved this post!! So funny, I can def relate!
love, Misty
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