I do. He’s 6 years old and I have been bribing him for awhile now. In fact, I’m so elated every December when the holiday bribing season officially begins. I even catch myself using terms similar to homeland security when I tell him it’s red alert time. Sure, there are more PC ways of describing bribing and Elf on the Shelf is one of the more brilliant one’s. I’ve heard parents use ‘negotiate’ or ‘compromise’ but it really comes down to bribing. In fact, here’s Merriam-Webster’s definition of bribe. Note the first example.
Money or favor given or promised in order to influence the judgment or conduct of a person in a position of trust
- I offered the children a bribe for finishing their homework.
- That judge refused a huge bribe to dismiss the charges against the wealthy defendant
Here’s a typical example.
[Me] – Time to get dressed
[Son] – Ignore
[Me] – Did you hear me, time to get dressed
[Son] – Yes, not yet
[Me] – There isn’t a choice, your carpool is going to be here soon
[Son] – No movement
[Me] – No show tonight if you don’t get dressed. I was going to give you a treat. I’m setting the timer.
[Son] – Scream. Starts to get dressed
Here’s the problem I have. It’s not an ethical one. It’s a power one. Why is that when I was growing up, my father didn’t have to bribe me. I actually was fearful enough to do what he asked (though he would probably disagree with this). It wasn’t that my Dad was mean or physical, but he was my Dad. He had authority and I knew my place. The worst part is I’m sure it has to do with our parenting. Somehow this child thinks he’s on some equilibrium despite trying to correct his thinking and actions. You would think I would have learned my lesson from my management days at a retail store. When you are dealing with young adults, you can’t expect to start out easy and then go strict. You have to have your game face on in the beginning and then let up.
Now only if I could truly meet the definition of a mother:
a : a female parentb (1) : a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women (2) : an old or elderly woman
Tips/strategies are welcome.
- Wired Mommy
